Funny how something as simple as getting a cup of coffee can bring back a flood of memories. In fact, it was one of the first real situations in my life where I could truthfully say I felt deja vu. Six years ago I was standing in Missouri Baptist Medical Center staring out a window at traffic coming off I-270 and merging east onto highway 40/60. Getting restless, I got up to get a cup of coffee from the nurse’s station and as I poured a cup, a nurse popped her head out the door and yelled, “Get back in here! You’re about to have a baby!”
That was indeed a happy moment. This, however, was something different. A few days earlier Beth had received a call that there was something “Asymmetrical” in her mammogram and she needed to come back for a re-screen. So here I was in the same hospital, overlooking the same highway, getting a cup of coffee and pondering what the news would be when the nurse popped her head out the door; would we get the all clear sign or would we be in for a fight.
Let’s start with what we know:
1. Beth exercises and eats healthy
2. There is no history of breast cancer in her family
3. She is adamant at getting her yearly mammogram/age- appropriate screenings
4. She has or has access to some of the best physicians in the country
5. She has a deep faith and belief that everything is going to be alright, no matter what the circumstances.
All of that, while wonderful, is very un-assuring when faced with the possible reality your wife may have cancer. Truthfully, sitting in the waiting room wasn’t as tough as the days that led up to the appointment. We wouldn’t wish that anxiety on anyone. Oddly enough, there was something empowering when we arrived at the hospital that morning. It’s hard to explain so I’ll use the same list from above:
1. Beth exercises and eats healthy
2. There is not history of breast cancer in her family
3. She is adamant at getting her yearly mammogram/age- appropriate screenings
4. She has or has access to some of the best physicians in the country
5. She has a deep faith and belief that everything is going to be alright, no matter what the circumstances.
Cancer is scary. We just lost a family friend (younger than Beth) to breast cancer and this only led to greater fear and anxiety. But as we drove to the appointment, our mindset began to change from fear to calm. Worst case scenario, we got on this “thing” early and had access to the top doctor in St. Louis; probably on that same day. Best case scenario, we go home, say a thank you prayer and get back to life.
A million things raced through my mind. How would our life change? Did we catch it early? Would it be the type of cancer that we could eradicate and get on with life? What would we tell our boys? Would I lose her?
She was back there a long time. In fact, there were patients who went in after Beth went back for her screen that finished and were gone while she was in the imaging area. This allowed the fear to start creeping back in; a feeling that magnified when she walked through the door with tears in her eyes. Cancer is scary, but not this time. She was all clear and all I could think about were those questions and how, thank God, I didn’t need to worry about them today.
Yes, cancer is scary but do you know what is even scarier? Learning you have cancer but failing to have gotten your mammogram or age/gender appropriate screenings and hearing there is nothing that can be done is much, much scarier. No one likes to get these tests. They take time out of your schedule and they do create anxiety.
Still, our message will continue to be to take care of yourself by exercising, eating healthy, managing stress and getting enough sleep. This will create an optimal environment for health and keep your immune system strong. Then, schedule and keep your annual physical and medical screenings. Yes, sometimes cancer happens even if you eat healthy and exercise but if you are healthy to begin with and through screenings, get early detection, you increase your chances of beating cancer. Be empowered to make the choices and take the actions that will allow you to beat anything that gets thrown your way. Even stupid cancer.
Be well friends,
Jeremy